Jiya Backup

At dawn, I slip into the emerald forest, wind sings, leaves rustle, birds dart from branch to branch. Blue lagoon, alligators swimming, cranes bathing, dragonflies undulating upon the face of the water. In the emerald forest, I lay down my heavy burden, I notice what appears, what surfaces. Where the sun is in the sky, how tiny flowers pirouette in the breeze, I lay down my heavy burden and let the heart dance.

My Guru spoke saying, Be the bee and fly to the flower within. drink, drink, drink her nectar until you are satisfied. Be grateful for even a teeny tiny flower, even a teeny tiny flower has much nectar. The flower offers her gift especially for you, her nectar of peace, joy, understanding. Everything is easy once you understand, this life is easy once you understand. Remember this existence, not the things that you do, but this breath for it is your blessing.

Yehuda Halevi, the Andalucian wrote, "My heart is in the east, and I am at the edge of the west." Visting from New York, I take an elevator to the Tel Aviv Carlton's rooftop spa and behold a city dressed in white, the sea, her sequined scarf. I imagine how long ago... I could as easily have stayed here, carved out a life, had a child named Tal, like the Tal from El Al, red head, tough and sweet. I see her blushingly beautiful, Tal, my Tal, early morning dew on bougainvillea. I hear her calling me, whispering my name. I turn and see an Ethiopian girl, thin as a stick, jumping in and out of the water, yelling "Emma, count for me, see how long I stay under." I see a blond of four, born in Frankfort, having a tea party with herself, tiny cup, tiny pitcher, visiting grandpa. A couple from Paris lotioning a baby, placing him in inflated tub, pushing him along with help of sky and sun. All of us, like Yehuda, part here, part there, glimpsing past, present, and what may...

A slice of the old world before Isabella, before three ships, before the Inquisition, downcast eyes, stoic faces, haunted El Grecos. Three men from Tangiers, a woman in silk, a guitarist who knew Segovia, a flamenco dancer, a chubby girl, with her grandfather, men in jeans, wide belts. A slice of the old world before Isabella, before three ships, before the Inquisition, downcast eyes, stoic faces, haunted El Grecos.

Refuges seeking asylum, we came to the light of her southern hemisphere seeking what all seekers seek, a sliver of joy in an oft desolate orb, and She welcomed us graciously, spaciously, how the cuckabera laughed at dawn, how magpies hip hopped o're the natty grass, how wallabies stared at us, then leapt to thickets where frogs croaked a steady tune. She accepted us graciously, spaciously, with breeze, fragrance, warmth, with her southern light, with her promise of stillness, with her unbridled beauty.

God gives and God takes away, and dust returns to dust, but the words of my Guru linger like a running stream. surging and resurging, turning and returning, bounding and rebounding, tuning and retuning. like a running stream, tuning and retuning the taut strings of my heart. like a running stream murmuring, whispering, singing to me, as my days, hours, moments stream by.

Why is this night different from all other nights? Because on this night, mountains skip like rams, Rivers reverse their course, time flows backwards. We’re kids out past dusk, long after we’d promised to be home, Stars zigzag across the sky like marbles, Jugglers toss tangerines, eggplants dance in the streets. Giant sequoias uproot themselves, Trudge across the Tundra to Vladivostock, Those murdered in mass graves assemble themselves, The sun cries tears of gold, the moon tears of diamonds. All who mourn are gladdened, all who hunger come to feast, Elijah descends from his fiery chariot and sips of our wine, Pharaoh’s heart is softened, and for moments, All is possible, nothing impossible, we rejoice.

Always three princes, and he - the jolliest prince in the world, not the handsomest, nor most valiant, but the jolliest, and she - sleeping beauty. I hadn’t the heart to awaken her, she looked so peaceful lying there. After our massage, we primped - two sisters, with combs, oils, lavender mist, standing before a mirror. “I could have slept for a hundred years,” she'd said. She had a knack for plunging into cold water. We’d lunched in the enchanted forest on a bed of pine needles, where she’d yawned lazily, almost falling asleep once more. She'd taken the bumpy road to love, the sand in your eyes, Lawrence of Arabia, bumpy road to love. But one fine day, he appeared exactly on cue - the jolliest prince. He hadn’t the heart to awaken her, she looked so peaceful lying there. But then, without further ado, he leaned over  and kissed her lips. She smiled, stretched her long arms and awakened. In truth, he was  jolly, not the handsomest, nor most valiant. An...

A Russian River, maybe the Volga, frothy waves, Overhead three ravens cross the winter sky, then swoop down on an ice glazed branch. Three princes: two Muslim, one a Jew, while earth’s red shadow eclipses a satin moon. At his place, we trudge up fifteen steps, freshly shoveled, A lit candelabra welcomes us. Inside guests gather, I greet paintings remembered on other walls, carpets remembered on other planks, a piano, hauled from home to home. Glass of Russian River in hand, I propose a toast. A gaggle of students huddle on a leather couch, one I’d splurged for years ago, quacking, quacking, flipping cards across a cedar chest, when into the room, swoop three princes: two Muslim, one a Jew, while earth’s red shadow eclipses a satin moon. Three princes: one Pakistani, one Afghani, one Iranian, "These three always hang together,"  he tells me. I greet  an Indian woman with diamond studs, a young man  with one leg only, a guy half Chinese - half American,  Daniel, son of Holocaus...

Waves rage about me in an impetuous sea, tormenting tides, swirling currents, In despair, I call out, but no one hears. I am swept out to sea, I scan the vista for even a piece of drift wood, then remember this breath. This breath, my anchor in an impetuous sea.

Magic, flow, flow, flow gratitude, gratitude grace and ease beauty and light bangles and curry gardenias, roses, trust Stillness - peace